BDO blog

Views from the BDO: Snow

2010-02-11T20:48:00.005-05:00

For those who may have missed the massive media blitz, it's been snowing here in the Northeast.

I long for the time when weather this severe was truly immobilizing and isolating; nothing to do but stay home enjoy the company of family and maybe a few neighbors and figure out how to create a meal with what happened to be in the cupboards. There is something in my DNA that knows, when the sky darkens and white specks fly past my window horizontally at such a speed they become a single sheet, a rippling veil, that it's time to slow down. Time to pause and take a break.

Alas, that's not the technology-ridden world I live in. Still... the beauty is undeniable.

Overheard in the BDO: "Stop running!!"

2009-08-25T12:03:00.004-05:00

Working today on the front porch annex office. Across the street is a pediatric dentist's office. Now, based on the title of this post and the brief facts just provided, who is yelling to whom and in which direction are they running?

If you guessed: parent yelling to child, you are correct!

If you guessed: running away from the doctor's office, you are INCORRECT!

Dr. Dyson has some sort of magic going on over there that actually makes kids RUN INto his office. A fairly busy street separates Dr. Dyson and I, and often I have seen excited children spring from vehicles parked on MY side of the street, bounce onto the sidewalk and then nearly dash into traffic in their eagerness to get to his office.

I've heard there are Lego's and trains in there. I also know for a fact there are balloons (wailing ensues when the rookie child releases the string just outside the front door). But that can't be all there is to it. Kids are smarter than that. Bribes and toys only go so far. To have a memory so good (or at the very least not bad) of the dentist's office that you literally RUN to get inside... I can't fathom it. But it's a happy thing to witness.

Reason number 6,457 why the BDO rocks: Cool dentist dude across the street.

An easy lesson in branding

2009-07-08T10:24:00.009-05:00

Last week I saw a great example of how businesses should use Facebook. Below is a "status" posted by Life is Good that showed up in my news feed since I am a "fan" of the company.

Life is good.(R) We will never know all the good a simple smile can do.
3 hours ago * Comment * Like

The folks at the company actually do this quite a bit; post happy little thoughts that make me smile and love this brand even more than I already do. The posts embody what the company is all about – or at least what the company wants me, the consumer, to think it is all about.

That, my friends, is branding. Its value is stealth but potent: creating or reinforcing a bond with customers that goes beyond simple preference for your products or services. It's communicating the personality of your company, without an overt or immediate sales agenda.

Life is Good has also used its Facebook status updates to promote sales, new products, store openings and other events more traditionally associated with marketing. But here they have used a quiet pause to build the brand. Brilliant. Man, do these guys get it.

Witnessing such an enlightening use of the medium almost makes me feel justified in spending all the time I do on Facebook. It's research for my work, right? Not a frightening vortex that sucks hours and hours from my life. Almost billable isn't it? Probably not.

Views from the BDO: Circus tent?

2009-06-03T08:25:00.009-05:00

I've been a bit neglectful of this blog, because another online communication tool has been sucking all my spare time into its very special black hole: The Facebook Vortex.

My Facebook status to accompany this photo would be: "Carole finds it difficult to concentrate on work when a small circus tent has been erected on the front lawn."

We have an annual fundraiser yard sale here at our home. Proceeds benefit our local Habitat for Humanity chapter and a small scholarship fund for an award given at our local high school in memory of a friend of mine who passed away in 2004. We get donations from members of Habitat, friends, and family and we usually do quite well for both organizations.

It's Wednesday and the sale is scheduled for Friday and Saturday. With the tent up, the doorbell has already rung twice this morning and it's only 9.30. How will I ever get any work done today?

A tomato by any other name

2009-04-14T13:40:00.004-05:00

Is it a coincidence that elementary school students from right here in Washington, NJ where I live inspired the introduction of a bill in NJ to have the tomato named the state vegetable? I think not. Initially, I wasn't sure I could really get behind this effort. Stickler for detail that I am, I stumbled on the fact that, technically, a tomato is a fruit not a vegetable. Or so I always thought. That is, until, my brilliant friend Jodee got me to do a little research on the matter.

“The supreme court - 100 years ago or so - declared it a veg. instead of a fruit so that it could be taxed,” she wrote in an email to me. “Their logic was that one eats it with dinner not as a desert.” I looked it up and it’s true.

As I was looking that up, I got sidetracked on an interesting linguistic element of this whole discussion. Something I read said that "fruit" is a botanical classification whereas "vegetable" is simply a culinary term, so it isn't really an either/or situation. I looked up both “fruit” and “vegetable” and found, MUCH to my delight, that a tomato is actually BOTH! How cool is that?

The definition of vegetable is: “any herbaceous plant whose fruit, [etc.] are used as food” or “the edible part of such a plant.” The definition of fruit is: “any product of vegetable growth.” So, basically, “vegetable” can refer to the plant itself or the fruit of said plant if the fruit is edible. Ergo – a tomato can be correctly called either a fruit or vegetable. Phew!

And now for some fun. A silly chain email also forwarded to me today:

Subject: Fw: Tomato Garden

An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison.

The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love,
Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug-up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.
Love you,
Vinnie

A rip-off post or "My Jersey Pride"

2009-02-10T14:12:00.004-05:00

My aunt and I are making dinner plans for tomorrow night. She's suggested the Red Wolfe Inn and despite living in this part of New Jersey for most of my life, I have no idea where it is. I googled the place and stumbled across this fantastic description of the area in which I live.

I am often at a loss when trying to accurately capture the stealthy beauty and charm of this area, but this writer has done it. I am reprinting his words here without his permission (or that of the New York Times where it appeared), but I am hoping to be forgiven since credit is given.

The following is excerpted from "RESTAURANTS; Backroads Bonanza" written by DAVID CORCORAN and published (on nyt.com at least) December 1, 2002:

"AT THE RISK of sounding like a paid advertisement for the Chamber of Commerce, I urge you to take a drive to this corner of the state -- unless you already live here, in which case the following will not come as news.

Warren County, especially the western reaches that look across the Delaware River to Pennsylvania, is New Jersey before the era of the corporate campus, before the McMansion, before Target. Out here, U. S. 46 is actually a pleasure to drive: it hugs the plunging, silvery Pequest River on its way through tiny forgotten hamlets like Bridgeville and Buttzville, Sarepta and Manunka Chunk. Jenny Jump and Worthington State Forests are thick with woods and hiking trails.

This isn't exactly unspoiled New Jersey; it isn't Hunterdon County, say, or the outskirts of Princeton, which owe their rolling, preserved-in-amber beauty to wealth and zoning codes. The back roads here are edged with cornfields, orchards and Christmas tree farms, but also with body shops, abandoned churches and adult-video stores. It's hardscrabble New Jersey. And the Red Wolfe Inn fits right in. "

Footnote by Carole, February 2009: Sadly we do have Target out here now and McMansions too, BUT not as much or as many as other parts of the state and the rest of this description still holds true. Ok. Now I still need to go figure out how to get to this place.

Smells from the BDO: Last Night’s Roast

2009-01-22T10:21:00.001-05:00

I love it when my house smells like warm roasting dinner. Marjoram, thyme, garlic and the melting fat getting all crispy and delicious. It reminds me of my childhood and being at my grandparent’s house. In my memory, the roast smell goes with the smokiness of the crackling fireplace, my grandfather’s musky-clean-smelling aftershave, my grandmother’s root-vegetable-kitchen smell, and the bright-sweet smell of those pink peppermints they always had out in a white ceramic candy dish on the drum table next to the front window.

Yup. Last night, as I was tinkering around the house doing little this’s and that’s while dinner cooked, I was also basking in the warm glow of these memories.

Of course this morning all that’s left is the pungent, offensive garlic smell. Which is not really a happy morning smell for me, personally. I’m sure it’s cultural and for some this would be a great smell to wake up to. But me? I want to run to the nearest Yankee Candle and get some cinnamon, maple, or vanilla thing to blast away this unpleasant olfactory assault. Funny how smells are all relative.

I've been cheating

2008-12-21T20:00:00.002-05:00

I've been cheating on this blog with another blog. My dearest Will is once again in Antarctica. He decided that Antarctic winter wasn't enough for him and he just had to go back to McMurdo Station to work over the summer.

Last time he went (2005), I was not yet blog-savvy and so I set up an actual website - from scratch. I updated it with new photos every few weeks during the six months he was way. What a pain in the neck that was! So this time, I was quite happy to set up a blog where I have been posting pictures and stories he sends back.

Basically this is just my most recent excuse for not posting here as much as I'd like. (Of course this one is sort of legit - I'm actually keeping up with a blog, just not this one.)

So if you're interested in the Antarctic Adventures of Will, you can visit that blog.

The blank page

2008-11-13T18:29:00.003-05:00

Every time I get a new assignment from a client my first step is usually to open a similar document. Something with the client’s name in the header maybe, or a similar type of work – ad copy, call script, article, or whatever. I quickly do a “file” > “save as…” changing the file name and assuring it’s located in my obsessively organized hard drive file structure. Then I start writing in the document, replace the existing copy with whatever is appropriate. In some cases, I save absolutely nothing from the original file. Which sort of begs the question: “Why do I do this?”

I’ve never really thought about it until today when I opened MS Word and selected “file” > “new.” A daunting plane of bright white assaulted me. I believe I let out an audible gasp. I know I have heard this over and over – that there is nothing more intimidating than a blank page. But I don’t think I realized it was true until today, because I had (brilliantly) avoided the circumstance. I think my subconscious was protecting me all these years.

Obnoxious creative types will probably say there is nothing more alluring or enticing than an unfettered expanse of page, canvass or computer screen. But I think that’s utter crap. Blank pages are frightening. Even for someone who spends all day filling them up.

Word Girl Geek Love Revisited

2008-10-24T15:17:00.005-05:00

Back in November - almost a year ago - I posted briefly about how much I wanted a Kindle. Earlier this year, a business colleague was gracious enough to give me one as a gift and it has more than lived up to my expectations.

Most people I know crinkle their faces at me when I tell them that yes, I am in love with it. "Reading on a computer? Really?" Well no - it's not a computer; it's digital ink/electronic paper - a technology specifically designed to be read. I think this is people's biggest stumbling block with the Kindle. You have to start from a platform of understanding that it is nothing like a computer monitor.

I find it difficult to explain why I love it so much. It's partly because the minute I think I am interested in a book, I can pick up my Kindle and, LITERALLY in seconds, wirelessly download a "sample" for free. The sample is usually at LEAST a full chapter if not more. Or if there is a book I KNOW I want, I can purchase it with one click on the Kindle and be reading it in seconds. (You don't need a computer to do this - there is no 'syncing' or anything like that.) If I am sitting comfortably in a chair or snugly warm in bed, I do not even have to stand up to get a new book to read.

I can also instantly look up words I don't know in a text, highlight text, make notes, add bookmarks. It's insane. And it's not just books; you can purchase single issues or subscriptions to tons of newspapers and magazines. And did I mention that EVERYTHING is less expensive in its Kindle version than in its print version. Oh, and I can change the type size whenever I want. Some days my eyes are more weary than others and I increase the type size on those days.

Anyway... I guess I just did a fairly good job of explaining why I love my Kindle, but the reason for the post today is this: I won't need to explain it anymore, ever again. Because today Oprah gave everyone in her audience a Kindle.

Earlier in the day I saw a 15-sec promo for the show saying she would be revealing her new favorite "gadget" and in the pit of my soul I knew... I don't imagine I have much in common with Ms. Winfrey and often our taste in books is quite at odds, but the one thing I suspect we share is an absolute love of reading.

So the Kindle has been touched by the magic wand of an Oprah endorsement and thus I breathe a tiny sigh of relief. Because now, when I have occasion to speak of "my Kindle," instead of blank and perplexed faces, I will be met with, "Oh yeah! That thing that Oprah has!!!"

Why so quiet?

2008-10-02T20:46:00.003-05:00

I've been all caught up in the presidential and vice presidential campaigns in much of my spare time (and frankly, overlapping into work time). The BDO blog is a place I created for softer, sweeter things - like tomatoes! Not politics. But since it's consuming so much of my head and heart right now, it's difficult to come to this "Create new post" page. And that's all I have to say about that.

Class Picture

2008-09-18T17:30:00.001-05:00

(l to r) Brandywine, Green Zebra, Black Prince (in the back), Riesentraube, Orange Strawberry Oxheart. (Gold Medal Yellow was absent on picture day.)

Aren't they so pretty? Definitely not as prolific as the engineered hybrid plants we usually grow, but I have really enjoyed these heirloom plants. As you can see, we finally got fruit from the Orange Strawberry despite its slow start, but we only got a few. The Green Zebra, Riesentraube and Brandywine did the best.

Green Zebras are probably my overall favs for a few reasons: they produced the most; they and the riesentraubes were the only two who managed not to fall victim to the slug invasion; the flavor was - for me - a perfect balance of sweet and tangy; and of course, they look SOOO COOOOOL!! Sliced on a sandwich they made quite an impression with little strips of their green-yellow zebra skin peeking out between the bread, and I even canned a few and they have such a pleasant melon-green color in the jars.

I'll never do black princes again. They tasted fine, but they are not very visually appealing and they were the most susceptible to slugs. I canned a few of those too and it's a bit of a problem, because they look downright rotten in the jars. Can't give those away as gifts.

Will probably go back to mostly early girl hybrids next year, but may put in some green zebras for fun and variety.

A thing of grace

2008-09-01T08:51:00.008-05:00

Bought a new car over the weekend. Haven't picked it up yet. Maybe tonight or tomorrow night. I will be very sad to say farewell to the Tacoma, nicknamed "kitty" because of how she always reminded me of a little black kitten curled up napping in the sun when I had her parked on the street.

I stayed within the Toyota family, although I looked for quite a while at the Honda Fit. I like small cars. I'm all about simplicity and fuel-efficiency when it comes to cars. A car is a mode of transportation to me, not much more, so I really don't care too much about how they look and Will's got his big ol' work truck so it's not as if we need another big vehicle for totin' and haulin' stuff.

So I'll be bringing home a Yaris. It reminds me a lot of the Red Bullet only it's black (they call it mica pearl sand or something silly). The RB is the car I owned for many happy years before the Tacoma came into my life. It was a Geo Prism (and actually came off the same assembly line as, and was identical to, the Toyota Corolla of its generation). Jenn V bought one that same year and is STILL driving it. Great car. Hers is red too, only it's that really nice grown-up maroon, whereas mine was big-hair-mall-chick-Jersey red (which faded horribly during the life of the car, making it more of an over-bleached-picnic-tablecloth red). Over 158,000 miles on it, and a young driver pulled out in front of me causing only minor damage to both vehicles, but enough for his insurance company to total the Red Bullet. They wrote me a check for much more than I thought she was worth and came and towed her away. A sad, but peaceful ending.

Right after the Yaris test drive, I asked the sales guy what the name meant. He confessed that he didn't know. During the hour or so we had to wait to see the finance guy I came up with this explanation and told him to tell future customers who ask: "Yaris is the ancient Greek god of fuel efficiency."

Yeah, right. Like who else asks something like that? Anyway... I looked it up this morning. Really much more stupid than my explanation. Apparently Toyota invented the word (not surprising), by smooshing together the name of the Greek goddess of grace, Charis (pronounced with a 'k' in the beginning so it actually sounds like "CARis"), and the German word for yes, ja, which is pronounced "yah." Hence: Yaris. Like: 'yes, this car is graceful'? Or 'say yes to grace'? Or 'yes, this is the car for anyone named Grace'?

Whatever. I like my answer better.

Pop Music as Teacher

2008-08-18T22:36:00.003-05:00

When I recently purchased the new Elvis Costello disc (I should actually call it an album with deference to Mr. Costello - the volume was issued first on vinyl "the way the Supreme Being intended," he says, with the CD version coming almost a full month later), I was intrigued by its name, Momofuku.

'What does Momofuku mean?' I wondered. Lucky for me, he explains on his website that the name is an homage to Momofuku Ando, inventor of cup noodles, because, says Mr. Costello, making this album was as easy as just adding water. So now I have that little bit of trivia tucked away in my brain.

Other things I have learned from pop music:

* The meaning of the word bravado. I had to look it up because of the line in that awesome 70s pop song Baby Come Back by Player: "All day long, wearing a mask of false bravado. Trying to keep up a smile to hide the tears."

* Who John Coltrane is, because of the line in the Cowboy Junkies song, Sun Comes up, it's Tuesday Morning: "Lunchtime: I start to dial your number. Then I remember, so I reach for something to smoke. And anyways, I'd rather listen to Coltrane than go through all that shit again." I figured if Margo Timmins is listening to Coltrane he must be cool.

* Who Ann Rice is and what the vampire chronicles are, because of Moon Over Bourbon Street by Sting. A sentence in the liner notes of the album on which the song appeared says, "'Moon Over Bourbon Street' was inspired by Interview with a Vampire by Ann Rice." I ran right out and found the book and read it.

There's more. But those are the ones I can think of right now. You get the idea.

Jersey Fresh InDEED!

2008-08-10T16:42:00.001-05:00

Or... Mmm, Mmm! Caterpillar-y Goodness!

This is the Farmer's Market story I alluded to in my last post. Earlier this month, we got a GREAT head of broccoli at the market. I swear it really does TASTE better because it's so fresh.

When I went to clean the steamer basket, I saw what looked like a funky, bumpy piece of broccoli stem ... but upon closer inspection... it.... ummm... wasn't broccoli...

Pretty sure it would have been a monarch butterfly someday.

Will's reaction: "I'm done eating bugs, Carole."

There's NO evidence that we actually ate ANY bugs! (Although I barely noticed this, so who knows what escaped my attention.)

First Feast of '08

2008-08-01T12:27:00.007-05:00

For lunch today I enjoyed my first little feast from the garden. Had a ripe Green Zebra, Black Prince and one little Riesentraube. We've actually had a few ripe Black Princes, but there also seems to be a slug issue with that plant (see pictures at the bottom of the post), which had made it difficult to really enjoy any of the fruit (not much left after cutting away the slug trail).

This was lunch:

BTW - the mozz is fresh from a local farm right next door in Port Colden. Got it at the Washington Farmer's Market. More tales from the market today - will save for another post.

This was HEAVEN!!! And I was shocked at how different each tasted. The Riesentraube was the middle-of-the-road flavor in this trio. The Black Prince was crazy sweet and the Green Zebra was nice and tangy! I know it looks odd and you're not sure what to expect, but for my pallet, the Green Zebra was the best. As of this moment, I'm thinking I may want to try growing those again next year. Ah tomatoes. YUMMMMM!!

And look how PRETTY the Green Zebra is!

The Black Prince is really nice looking too,

As long as you can't see the slug trail : - (

Have you seen this commercial?

2008-07-30T19:40:00.003-05:00

I really don't enjoy alcohol of any kind and I particularly dislike beer. But this commercial makes me want to drink THIS beer. I was beginning to worry that I was past the age of the target market of all things cool, but this commercial seems to be written just to get ME to drink beer.

The song is great and the message totally appeals to earthly liberal peace-lovin' girls like me: this beer brings about kindness among humans; sharing and interaction between seemingly disparate groups; understanding, peace, harmony!!! It reminds me of the coke commercial from the 70s. (Remember? "I'd like to teach the world to sing...").

I SERIOUSLY considered running out and buying a six pack for half a second before I snapped out of my momentary media coma. Great ad.

Falling stars?

2008-07-25T08:07:00.002-05:00

Earlier this week I noticed there is a little gold sticker star on the floor of the BDO. I've no idea where it came from or how it got here. To the best of my knowledge, I don't own such stickers and don't think I have anything in my office from which it could have become un-affixed. I'm not much of a housekeeper to begin with, but I have no intention of removing it. The universe has given me a gold star for something and I'll take it.

Filling the Empty Hours

2008-07-21T21:37:00.001-05:00

I have been known, in the past, to liken the life of a freelancer to being "semi-retired." It's true I have more flexibility in scheduling my days and once you cut out all the inefficiencies of working in an office and the time it takes to commute, I find I actually have a little more free time than most folks, but recently I realized that I am SOOOO NOT retired. Semi or otherwise.

Not only have I been wrestling with a sweet overabundance of work, which forced me to sacrifice some "fun" plans this weekend and actually work on a Sunday (I believe God will forgive me for making sure the mortgage gets paid), but I have no time to figure out what's going on with my Strawberry Orange Oxheart tomatoes.

All of her friends and neighbors in our tiny garden already have ripening fruit (see snaps below), and although she has produced many, many flowers, they all seem to be turning brown and falling to the dirt un-pollinated. Someone said it's because of the bee shortage, but that doesn't really make sense since all the other plants around her seem to be doing really, really well. Will says the bees just didn't like her pollen, but I can't imagine they care much. Someone else suggested she might just be sterile. How sad. (Especially with all her neighbors producing - must be tough). Even the cheap-o bag-o-cherry tomatoes I bought from one of our niece's school fundraisers is going wild, producing very large fruit for a "cherry" plant.

I keep looking at the dead and dying buds with despair. I even tried shaking the stems like we did with our hydroponic tomatoes to see if I could encourage non-bee pollination (it worked in the kitchen). But no dice. And as I went out this morning to take pictures and document all the plants' growth, I thought "I wish I had time to really research this and figure out what's happening and how to fix it. But I really can't because I have three three-minute video scripts to write, four short employee profiles, one long employee profile, two more interviews to schedule and conduct to finish that case study that was due two weeks ago, and about 20 pages to edit and get back to various clients."

I will be a dedicated gardener in retirement. That is my promise to the plants. For now, sadly, I have no time to care as much as a I should. (And don't even get me started on all the books I want to read right now.) I will have no trouble at all filling eight+ hours per day with gardening, reading... OH and COOKING! How could I forget cooking! A restaurant-quality feast every day in retirement. Yes. Ah, yes.

Our '08 babies as of July 21, below.

Gold Medal Yellow:

Green Zebra:

Brandywine:

Black Prince:

Riesentraube:

Cherry (in hanging bag):

39

2008-07-15T21:23:00.001-05:00

I just don't "feel" like I think "39" should feel.

I still feel ... frankly... very young and stupid. Like I still have so much to learn about life and people and things. Which then makes me think I must be REALLY slow or something, to not have picked up a few more big answers by this point.

I really feel like I'm not ready to be a grown-up either. And yet, all evidence points to the fact that I AM a grown up. How can that be?

Shocking. Strange. Unfortunate?

I'm sorry. It's that time of year.

2008-07-10T10:35:00.001-05:00

In an earlier post, I mentioned in passing that my mom had ordered some tomato plants for Will and I as a Christmas gift. They are from White Flower Farm and arrived in great shape. We quickly put them in the ground and they almost immediately started flowering (I think one arrived with buds on it). It's an heirloom collection, which is all new to me.

At this point, they all pretty much have fruit on them already, so I decided I needed to know what they look like ripe so I can pick 'em! They have names that lead me to believe I could get confused, like GREEN Zebra and BLACK prince. So I went out on the web and found pictures of what they will look like all grown up!! This is what they will look like (these are NOT my tomatoes):

Green Zebra

Black Prince

Orange Strawberry Oxheart

Gold Medal Yellow

Red Brandywine

Riesentraube

I'm now sort of freaking out with excitement about these tomatoes. They all look SOOO yummy and I really dig yellow and orange tomatoes, but have never grown any. (Not to mention black tomatoes!!!) A little disappointed in myself that I didn't figure out that the "riesentraube" would be a grape tomato variety (Frau Haas would be so saddened).

The final harvest

2008-07-07T10:09:00.000-05:00

The end of the hydroponic garden ended up on my lunch plate last Thursday.

They are so photogenic with their little leafy hats, don't you think? But of course I popped those off before adding a few tiny chunks of feta and some oil and vinegar. And there you have it.

I'd rather be blowing bubbles

2008-07-03T10:06:00.009-05:00

(I know I haven't finished the Desk Reference list, but since no one is clamoring for it, I thought I'd share this quick thought.)

Working today out on the glorious UCBPAO (UtterClarity Back Porch Annex Office) and every time I get up to go inside and refill my beverage or take some other union break I have to walk right past the bubble bucket.

I'm consumed with tempation. So I gave in (just a little):

I know I should be working, but I'd rather be blowing bubbles.

My Favorite Desk References and Why

2008-07-01T09:22:00.002-05:00

This list actually changes over time. At one point, my absolute favorite desk reference was the Cambridge Factfinder (which later became the Penguin Factfinder). This was when I was doing a lot of work for very global companies and needed to look up things like what kind of currency is used in Brazil (Cruzerio Real, abbreviated Cr$) and what’s the country code for dialing Hong Kong (852). At another time it was the Wired Style Guide for definitive answers about when and where to cap web (as in “the Web,” but not webcam, which is preferred as one word says the guide) and whether online was one word, two or hyphenated. Of course those Wired-ish things have evolved and changed since my first edition was published in (gasp) 1999, as really all language does given enough time, but the references listed below are sort of timeless I think.

1) The Elements of Style, Strunk and White. I’ve seen people online argue about whether or not this is a worthy reference, but I’ve got so many stickie notes hanging off the pages I really couldn’t live without it. (OK maybe “live” is dramatic… I certainly couldn’t WORK without it. And let’s never confuse living with working, eh?). I’ve stickied the explanation of serial commas (which, btw, is the American English explanation – British English is the exact opposite, which you can learn in The Economist Style Guide, which did not make this list, but is worth having if you do any writing for people who speak original English vs. ours), the “that, which” entry (also opposite Amer./Brit.), and the “avoid fancy words” discussion. This is my favorite bit of advice in this book: “Utilize. Prefer use.” This is a paraphrase, but basically, it says there’s never a good reason to use “utilize.” “Use” will always work and keeps you from sounding like a pretentious jerk. OH, and I can’t finish up this blurb without nothing that somewhere in the past few years, some very clever person named Maira Kalman created illustrations to accompany this book and it was published as The Elements of Style (illustrated). A VERY fun book to own.

2) The AP Style Guide and its little buddy The Associated Press Guide to Punctuation (which is included in the full guide if you get the fatter version). This is “house style” for a lot of big companies so I finally caved and got one. And I'm really glad I did. The book is exceptionally well organized alphabetically to cover everything, so after explaining the difference between collide and collision and a lengthy explanation of colloquialisms, you’ll find “colon” with a reference telling you to look in the punctuation guide. Further down on that page it has the proper abbreviation for Colorado in print (Colo.).

This is taking much longer than I expected and I need to get to work. I have two more books I want to mention, but it will have to wait.

to be continued…

Bat Terrorism

2008-06-16T17:33:00.001-05:00

No matter how many times I walk into my office in the morning and see no bats, it never ceases to delight me.

“What an odd thing to be thankful for,” you say?

Well. Clearly, you have never been the victim of bat terrorism.

Yes for no fewer than three years my home was under siege by a cruel band of renegade bats. Outside one’s home bats are helpful creatures consuming several times their own body weight in mosquitoes and other pests every night. Some might even say they are sort of cute and nifty to have around.

Those folks have never had one circling above the bed on Christmas morning, or hanging lazily from a kitchen window shade, or perched clinging to the screen of an open office window.

I’ve said it before, and I will say it again: I have no problem with bats outside my home, but they really don't belong inside.

And even though in a few short weeks we’ll mark the three-year anniversary of bat-free living space here at the money pit, my shoulders still creep up towards my ears and my back muscles tighten ever-so-slightly every morning as I enter the BDO and scan the windows, walls and shadowy corners checking for bats. Because my mind now knows that it’s possible for a bat to be in the office, and thus I will always live with the fear that it could happen again.

This is, I think, the very definition of terrorism; it's not just fear. It’s fear based in the knowledge that something previously unthinkable and horrible could happen. Because once it did.

Fun reference: I love this book.

Views from the BDO: Safety Cone

2008-05-27T08:40:00.001-05:00

Wow - haven't had a "views from" in over a year and now twice in two weeks!

I actually first noticed this bizarre sight back in November or December. Can't believe I didn't think to blog it then. As I gaze out the front window of the BDO, I am eye-level with this safety cone, which sits like a hat atop the utility pole. I am a bit curious to learn how it got there, but I suppose I never will.

From this vantage point I think I was among the first to notice it, but I've since seen people walking along the sidewalk pointing up to it, stopping and staring. It's actually not as impressive from this view; it's somehow more humorous when you spot it from the street. But I can't post that photo here, because that would not be a view from the BDO (although.. perhaps from the front porch annex office...).

It’s nice to be thanked.

2008-05-23T14:52:00.002-05:00

It really does make a difference. I don’t EXPECT to be thanked when someone is paying me to do a job. Nothing really says “thank you” like cold, hard cash, but I’ve got to say it really puts me in an agreeable frame of mind when an email opens up with a line like, “Thanks so much for your dedication on this one.”

So note to clients: I can be bought with words; I am susceptible to manipulation. The line above was followed by about three or four paragraphs worth of edits/direction/correction. But I took it all in with a chipper smile, because the conversation opened with a nod to the effort I was putting forth (at 3.30 on the Friday before a holiday weekend). I guess this circles back to the whole “hostess sets the tone of the party” concept. Only in this case, I was a guest.

Coffee and Ketchup

2008-05-15T23:52:00.004-05:00

So today was free iced coffee day at Dunkin' Donuts. My local Dunkin' is currently closed for renovations (booo, hisssss) and the nearest shop is at least 15 minutes away by car. With the price of gas where it is... well I'm word girl not math girl so I didn't bother with the calculation, I hopped in my little girl truck and drove on over!!! 'Cause free Dunkin' is FREE DUNKIN' baby!

On the way home I heard the most FASCINATING story on All Things Considered that I just HAVE to share, because it's tomato-related and it's been a while since I've blogged about tomatoes. (Not that there hasn't been plenty to discuss: our hydroponics are doing well; our Early Girl seedlings are probably just about ready to go into the ground; and my mom sent Will a really cool collection of heirloom plants as a gift and they just arrived this week - totally ready to go in the ground!)

This is the story: Heinz on Quest for Sweeter Tomatoes

Views from the BDO: It Snot Fair!

2008-05-14T14:31:00.004-05:00

Further to my post this past Sunday.

This is sad. It's only Wednesday and trash day isn't until Friday. I wish I owned stock in Scott tissues.

Changed my mind. BOOO Spring!

2008-05-11T19:15:00.001-05:00

Pollen, pollen, pollen! Yuk. Maybe THAT’s why I forget Spring every year. Maybe I block out the painful memory of the absolute and total MISERY that is allergies! Of course… if I’d just avoid sitting under budding trees, rolling around in the new grass, cutting the flowers and bringing them into my home, etc. that might help.

I swear it seems worse every year. I didn’t always have allergies. Or maybe I did and I just never noticed, because I was inside those buildings with windows that don’t open. So perhaps I've had allergies all along, but just was never outside enough to notice. Wow! Could be. So I love Spring, but there is no Spring without pollen, which is like kryptonite to me. And I love the BDO because of its windows that open, but if the windows didn’t open I wouldn’t suffer from allergies. Oh, the dichotomies of my life!

Spring Thing

2008-05-06T13:56:00.002-05:00

You’d think by now it would have become passé. Here I am, almost 39 years on this planet, and every Spring it’s like I’ve never been here before.

This morning I did some laundry and went to hang it out on the line. The grass was still wet with dew, so I took my shoes off and walked across the lawn barefoot. Have you ever done this? You should. I know a lot of moms frown on it (fear of bugs, bees, and/or pet poo between the toes – which are all valid concerns) but it’s SOOO worth the risk. There is nothing like soft, new spring grass, cool and damp under your feet as the sun is just starting to warm up everything else. Probably not for everyone though… my tree-hugger-ness is showing. I swear I started to hear music from the Hair soundtrack and trippy psychedelic colors swirled before my eyes (I am on antihistamines though, so … perhaps…).

There’s other stuff too: I forget how colorful tulips and daffodils are; I forget how absolutely perfect the temperature is for sleeping and working in the BDO Annex Office 2 (back deck); I forget that the temperature changes a LOT from day-to-day or during any given day and begin dressing from the wardrobe-of-wishful-thinking (thus ending up entirely ill-prepared to watch Matthew's baseball game.)

It really is perplexing that I forget until it’s upon me. “Oh yeah, Spring is here. Look at that.” It’s nice though. A happy surprise each year. Yay Spring!

I know, I know...

2008-04-29T16:50:00.002-05:00

I really need to start blogging again. But not right now. Right now I have to go cook dinner.

P.S. Happy day-after-Jenn's-BIRTHDAY!!!

2008-04-09T16:05:00.003-05:00

A while back I posted about the joy of looking things up and finding answers to (sometimes silly) grammar and style questions. A colleague recently showed me that the AP site has an "ask the editor" section. It's free to view and search all the posted Qs and As. You need a subscription to ask a question. Just in case you too are turned on by stuff like this (or if you just need to know whether to use 80's, '80s or 80s), I thought I would share.

Happy Anniversary to Me

2008-04-04T17:26:00.003-05:00

April 1, 2002 was the day UtterClarity blossomed into existence. I was at the dentist's office this morning and the hygienist commented, "You must have a lot of self-discipline to work for yourself from home." I hear that a lot. I guess it's true. When I first went freelance I remember thinking, "This is so freakin' awesome! Why doesn't everyone do this?!" I seriously thought that if everyone knew how wonderful it was to be independent they would all be doing it. I even became a little evangelical about it, encouraging people to escape their big-company shackles and forge out on their own. But I’ve come to realize it really isn’t for everyone. And in fact we NEED people to stay in corporations. Someone HAS to keep them running, because most of those companies ultimate deliver important things that our society has come to rely on like high-impact polymers, micro-encapsulated beads, and robust telecomm solutions (for other big companies). I’m not cut out for that world, but I realize now that some people really are. They love it. They thrive on it. And if the rest of us are lucky, they will never, never leave it.

My, how our babies have grown

2008-03-03T20:54:00.010-05:00

Exciting news: We HAVE TOMATOES!!

This is what they looked like a few weeks ago when we did our first major pruning:

And now they are just BUSTIN' with aeroponic goodness.

The best part is pollinating. Without bees, we have to do it ourselves by basically shaking the plants. It's kind of fun. I make a buzzing sound when I do it. Will doesn't. We're both quite pleased with our reproductive success ... with the tomatoes.

ps.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY THITHTER!!

Poor, POOR Jane Eyre!!

2008-02-23T08:47:00.005-05:00

Found out last night: the 'thing' in the attic is Mr. Rochester's lunatic WIFE!!! And poor, POOR Jane Eyre found this out as she was standing at the alter about to exchange matrimonial vows with said Mr. Rochester. Oh dear! This chick just cannot catch a break. What will happen now?! Wish I had all day to read, but alas... today is the big 80th SURPRISE party for Will's mom. Shhh. Don't tell.

An Homage to Will

2008-02-20T16:54:00.003-05:00

I actually used the phrase "suck it up" in client copy this week. As of this moment, it has not been rejected. We're through the first round of edits too, and it didn't get killed. Fingers crossed! I recognize, of course, that Will did not invent this line, but he utters it to me so frequently, it's become sort of the bumper-sticker phrase of our union.

More About Jane Eyre

2008-02-19T20:54:00.000-05:00

This is just one of the best books I’ve ever read. It’s really got everything – mystery, intrigue, romance, rich people sitting around playing cards and strolling around large rooms simply to pass the time. And I just love, love, love this character. She’s fierce! (In all the good ways.)

As I referenced in a earlier post, it started out grim for poor Jane. She was able to get away from the meanie Aunt though, but things at the private school to which she was sent weren’t much better at first. But then it all improved, and she ended up finding a friend (who died of course, but it was nice for a while), and then she became a teacher at the school. But restless spirit that she is, she had to get out and see a bit more of the world, so she found herself a position as a governess at Thornfield Manor. Things there have been VERY interesting (including some mysterious entity living on the third floor that wails, growls, scratches, and stomps).

Last night the meanie Aunt died, but on her deathbed she revealed to Jane that she had withheld a letter from one of Jane’s relatives who wanted to claim her as his own!! Simply out of spite, the meanie withheld this note!! What a meanie. (This concept perplexes me – a mean aunt? Inconceivable.)

Carole Runs on Dunkin

2008-02-17T16:04:00.003-05:00

Will and I took my truck out for a spin today and he remarked about the litter pile that had accumulated on the passenger side. Dunkin bags, napkins, sandwich wrappers, and cups lie scattered on the floor. (Now that I’m back in the commute grind, Dunkin is a guilty pleasure I afford myself. I find it eases the pain of going to GCH).

He mused that the image would make a great commercial for the brand; just a peek inside the car door and a pan around the interior and then a shot of me walking (quickly) away with my trusty Dunkin in hand and the tag line, “Carole Runs on Dunkin.” It’s actually sort of brilliant – they’ve established the whole notion of “America Runs on Dunkin.” A logical extension of the campaign would be more specific. The individuals could be fictional, or they could be real. Customers could be asked to send in their stories. I promise I’m a less expensive spokeswoman than Rachel Ray.

And for those of you wondering – things have gotten better for poor Jane Eyre (yes I am STILL working my way through it… I read only a few pages before passing out each night), although I fear a turn for the worse is in the near future. And our Aeroponic tomatoes have buds!!! More on both these topics later. Must get back to work.

Poor Jane Eyre

2008-01-29T20:58:00.000-05:00

(I’m having book chat with myself because Jenn’s on the Barnaked Ladies cruise and we’re between books anyway.) I can’t believe what a good story this is already. So quickly into the story Jane sees a ghost. A real, actual ghost. At least I think so. But I’m not really sure and that’s part of what keeps me reading. And what a sad, sad life she has. How mean her aunt and cousins are! Even the household help. So I’m excited that it looks like she’s getting out. But her aunt already sort of poisoned that guy from the school against her. I really like how she told-off her aunt right before she left. Thought it was interesting when she told the doctor that she would rather stay with her mean aunt than entertain the notion of going to live with really, really poor relatives. Interesting choice. Can’t wait to see what happens next. I should try to get to bed early so I don’t stay up so late reading. Last night when I forced myself to put the book down it was nearly midnight. But... new episode of “House” tonight. Hmm...

Nanny-nanny, foo-foo!

2008-01-28T21:13:00.000-05:00

I'm an M&M girl. I grew up in Hackettstown, NJ where nearly every M&M consumed in the US is born. My college education was largely funded by my mom's job at M&M, and my first professional experience was working as an intern in that office (my first cube, actually).

And so when I heard this news and this related story, I could not supress a snide, jeering Nelson laugh.

Silly humans. Cubes are for ice.

2008-01-14T21:17:00.000-05:00

An office cube is the anti-BDO; the BDO of the bizarro world.

Seriously? Why? Who designed this and why? Who thought this was a good idea? Who thought this kind of environment would aid in productivity, morale, anything positive?

The Hostess Sets the Tone of the Party

2008-01-09T20:16:00.000-05:00

This is my new life philosophy.

I’ve tested it in several theoretical (and a few real) scenarios and it always applies.

If, in every situation, I just imagine myself as the hostess trying to set a friendly, happy, comfortable tone for my guests, every thing in life gets better/easier. Seriously. Try it.

At the grocery store. Walking down the street. At the gas station. Chatting with the postman. In traffic. Folding laundry. Drudgery becomes festive; the mundane becomes colorful. It's sort of amazing.

I think I've stumbled onto something really powerful. Think it demands a trendy self-help book. Could I work this up into several thousand words? I bet I could. I bet you all could help.

Oh. And P.S: Way to go Hillary.

Our Winter Garden

2008-01-04T19:52:00.000-05:00

Got SOOO many good Christmas gifts this year. Life is Good jammies from my niece; an insanely cozy new robe from Will; cheese from Wisconsin. Overall, an embarrassment of riches.

But my sister, the wanna-be-scientist and best-teacher-ever-because-everything-genuinely-excites-her, got Will and I an aeroponic garden. And in 4 short days, we have tomato sprouts. Look how cute they are:

This is the brand of our garden: AeroGarden.

A good thing about today

2008-01-02T19:57:00.000-05:00

It actually wasn’t too bad.

Today was the first full day of work after a leisurely break between Christmas and New Year’s and I was dreading it. (And then there was the whole “no longer my own boss” thing.) Not bad. Happy little surprise.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2008-01-01T15:51:00.000-05:00

Once upon a time, there was a little girl whose daddy wisely told her, “find something you love and figure out how to make a living doing it.” Thanks to her mommy, the girl was a lover of language and so she decided on a career playing with words and ideas.

After many years working at corporations (often inside stuffy buildings with windows that never opened), she went out on her own into the lovely world of freelance writing. This was a very happy time indeed. The girl worked only with people she liked, on projects she found interesting, and - perhaps most important - from an office right inside her home with plenty of windows that open.

Then one day an interesting thing happened and she decided to join a nice little company. She could still work mostly from her home and mostly on projects she found interesting. But she was no longer working for herself. And if felt good and odd at the same time.

It’s January 1 and I’m officially no longer my own boss.

Rachel Ray

2007-12-04T21:20:00.000-05:00

Is there anything this woman won't sell? Discuss.

"Guys? Where are the Ritz?"

"America runs on Dunkin'"

"(I forget her line from the BK ads)"

Are there any others I missed?

Four-and-twenty blackberries? or BlackBerrys?

2007-11-29T20:40:00.000-05:00

I really do get gleeful about looking up some grammar rule and finding an answer. When I was younger and newer to the profession, I’d get freaked out if I came up against something I didn’t know – especially if a boss or client corrected me. Now, I actually enjoy it. Because I know no one has 100% mastery of the wacky English language (and anyone who pretends they do is a great big Grammar Meanie - thank you June Casagrande) and I also know that in my many volumes of reference books or somewhere online – someone has already posed and answered the same question I have right at that moment.

Let me illustrate: Recently, I was wondering how one might create a plural of the word BlackBerry – not the fruit, the sexy PDA. Of course Strunk and White haven’t yet made a decision on that, but I actually found several online discussions on the topic and even a “ruling” in one of my reference books about pluralizing proper nouns ending in ‘y.’

In case you care, I went with BlackBerrys so as not to dilute the brand. And I really can’t properly express here how happy I was as I set out to find the answer and how equally happy I was to discover an answer that I felt confident I could explain and defend, if necessary (of course no one challenged me, but I was ready).

P.S. Please don't post comments telling me it's blackbirds. I know. It was a joke.

Word Girl Geek Love

2007-11-27T21:22:00.001-05:00

I didn't plan to fall in love. I didn't want to fall in love. It's not at all what I thought I'd want in life, but now that it's here, I must have it. The next $400 I make is going to buy me a Kindle!

Gobble, Gobble.

2007-11-22T21:19:00.000-05:00

As if Americans needed an excuse to eat in excess.

But I’m not really a grouch about this holiday. I just wish I could be a part of a celebration that really was about giving thanks for the abundance we enjoy here in this country. What would that celebration look like? I’m not sure but I think it would involve a lot less gluttony and a lot more selfless acts.

Yellow

2007-11-20T12:55:00.000-05:00

I actually scribbled this in mid-October, but never had a moment to post. Just a little vignette of autumn in NJ.

Recently, I was pushing one of my nephews on a swing. At one point, he tossed his head back - the way kids do on swings - to watch the sky slide by, back and forth. His eyes caught the tops of the tall trees that separate grandma’s yard from the neighboring farm, where the corn stalks stood softly, dried-out and ready to be cut down.

“I see colors,” he shouted excitedly. I looked up and, sure enough, the tippy-tops of the trees were turning. It was as if a painter’s brush had gently dabbed the edges of the trees with new colors to cover the summer green.

“What colors do you see?” I asked. A chorus of voices erupted as the other nephews and nieces (who I didn’t even know were paying us any attention) chimed in: “I see red!” “I see orange!” “I see green!” “I see yellow!”

The swinging boy replied, “I don’t see any yellow! Where do you see yellow?”

Later, on the driveway, we started taking inventory of the fallen leaves, sorting them by colors as you sometimes do with a bag of M&Ms.

“See? There’s yellow,” one instructed the other. And of course, everyone had to agree there was indeed yellow in the mix.

Today it’s raining leaves outside. It is a miracle of beauty that I cannot imagine living without.

No, not dead.

2007-11-18T21:40:00.000-05:00

Just adjusting to a new professional lifestyle. Work had been a little thin for a little longer than I was happy about in early October, so I raised the “Carole is for hire” flag. Ended up with a PT gig that was suppose to go FT in January, but has suddenly become FT, like, now-ish.

The most relevant news for this blog is, of course, that I will still be working out of the BDO. Viva les fenêtres ouvertes!!! (don't ask me to actually say that... just bable fish-ed it)

Strategies to combat mental malaise

2007-10-18T20:26:00.000-05:00

Reminder to self:

When the brain begins to stiffen
Like a muscle too rarely flexed
And thoughts flow all too slowly
As if they have been hexed

There are some things that I can do
To make the synapses spark
I’ll compile the list right here, right now
And note it with a bookmark.

The following things usually help clear blocks:

* Read (language reference books, fun blogs, Luke Sullivan)

* Look at photos (especially of kids)

* Relocate to a new venue (outside is pretty much always best)

* Observe or immerse yourself in nature (see note above)

* Color (with Crayola products of course)

* Add music to the work place (jazz, groovy 70s, or Euro-dance depending on the work/client)

* Attempt poetry

(feel free to add to the list)

I guess I should explain that.

2007-10-17T19:08:00.000-05:00

Confession: I am a cabbage lover. Steamed, stuffed leaves; shredded in slaw (not too runny); pickled in a jar; fermented as kraut. Even raw, finely shredded in a salad, is nice. One of my all-time favorite dishes is Halushki: fried noodles, onion and cabbage (a Polish Christmas Eve dinner specialty).

The last day of the Farmers Market in town was September 28. It’s a very small market – only about 10 stalls in a little parking lot near the main intersection. I can walk to it, which makes me feel very European. I bring a cheap, bright-red messenger-style bag I got as a freebie from a volunteer dinner, and load it up with all sorts of fabulously fresh stuff.

On the 28th, one of the vendors had Brussels sprouts. Two weeks earlier, I got a lovely head of cabbage from the same vendor. Because it’s all so fresh is lasts much longer than grocery store produce. So I’ve been enjoying it right up until this past Sunday when I said farewell to mes petit choux.

Some of the sprouts were a little big, so before steaming them for dinner the other night, I sliced them in half and the graduation of color from the white core, to the young yellow leaves, and finally the grown-up green leaves is so smooth you can scarcely see the change. A nice little cabbage (or big) is a very pretty thing. Yes pretty. Take some time to admire the cabbages my friends.

Ode to a cabbage cross-section

2007-10-16T21:27:00.001-05:00

(An homage in haiku)

Grow from white to green
Delicate core, gentle leaves
In my tummy grief

Overheard in the BDO

2007-10-11T22:12:00.000-05:00

Because I have been so remiss about posting I thought perhaps I should post a digest of all that has happened in the past week.

But then I realized how boring that would be and decided instead to post a collection of random comments typed, spoken or otherwise noted in and around the BDO. Piece it together however you like and create your very own story about what's been happening here! (This is sort of like magnetic poetry. Only it’s not magnetic and it’s not poetry. Discuss.)

“This data is not usable.”
“I’m not ignoring you.”
“We are almost to the finish line on this one…”
“Why don't you run for president?”
“I don't usually pimp my friends and colleagues”
“THIS IS A WARNING MESSAGE ONLY”
“You never know what might happen.”
“tub full of angry cats”
“Gack!”
“I’ll need a drink after the Brownie meeting.”
“I cannot locate my Fruitcake catalog.”
“Unfortunately, we have decided that we are not going to fill this position at this time.”

I have withheld attribution to protect the innocent, but I will confess two of these were composed on my keyboard. And, as a side note, "Gack!" - as in "oh my gosh" or "oh my goodness" - is my new favorite word (thanks Jenn)(Oops. I just leaked some attribution.)

A real headline published in the local paper

2007-10-05T16:06:00.000-05:00

"Gas-guzzlers vehicles to economy cars is a long ways away"

I'm not even kidding.

Discuss.

(I'm not even sure I know what they were TRYING to express.)

Something to do when you're not reading my blog

2007-10-03T20:14:00.002-05:00

Read other blogs!

Two new blogs to which I've becoming slightly addicted:

Epi Log on the Epicurious web site is fun, funny, and frequently features fabulous food. (Can you even stand it?)

The Boy Genius Report appeals to the geek wannabe that lurks just below the surface here at the BDO. (Special thanks to my pal Renee who pointed me to this site.)

Boycott Charmin!!

2007-10-02T19:59:00.000-05:00

I’m calling for a boycott of Charmin toilet tissue until they fire the agency that created those stupid bear commercials and pull them from the air. Who’s with me?

I hardly watch TV and yet it seems I cannot escape these commercials! Bears running to port-a-pottys on the beach; bears brushing remnants of toilet tissue off their butts (do any humans actually have this problem?); bears with overly expressive faces as the voice over guy gently talks about unpleasant butt-related, toilet-related topics. YUK!

But what is most disturbing is when I picture some creative group excitedly brainstorming these ideas, then presenting them to executives who smile and say, “YES! YES! That’s perfect! Let’s use cartoon bears with intestinal distress to sell our product!!”

It’s ridiculous! I work far too hard creating intelligent, decent ad copy to tolerate this crap. (Pun not intended, but pleasing none-the-less.)

Seriously?

2007-10-01T18:08:00.000-05:00

Message to Burmese Government: How can you not know you are on the wrong side of an argument when you are fighting Buddhist monks?

I promised I would avoid getting political on this blog so that's all I'm going to say about that.

Except maybe this too: It's really too bad there's no oil in Burma. (If there was, perhaps our current administration might be moved to head over there and support the MONKS using pacifism to fight for democracy. 'Cause that's why we're in Iraq, right? Because we were really, really upset about the lack of freedom and rights, right?).

"Because you're hot."

2007-09-28T13:56:00.000-05:00

Best tag line ever.

For Secret. (Remember? "Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman." This is MUCH better.)

I just saw this on an ad and it makes me want to change brands so badly. Because I want to be HOT! The whole look of it is also very appealing - a frilly, floral, sophisticated line-art style thing.

It's the kind of line that makes writers smile and then quickly grimace with a sigh, "wish I'd written that."

Iced Tea Time?

2007-09-27T14:45:00.000-05:00

Iced tea is one of my all-time favorite beverages. When I am out, I usually order it unsweetened, and then the add sugar myself, along with a squeeze of lemon.

“Sweet Tea,” made lovingly by proper Southern Ladies and Gentlemen, is usually a little too sweet for my tongue, but I’ll drink it when offered, to be polite.

A few years ago Lipton came out with “Cold Brew” tea bags and that is the only kind I make at home now. For my pallet, a two-quart pitcher takes about ¼ cup sugar and sometimes I’ll also add a little less than a ¼ cup of either Country Time lemonade mix or Tang.

Yesterday I had lunch out and ordered iced tea. I came home inspired to make a pitcher, but I was in a quandary about it – is it too late? It's nearly October and something about making iced tea felt… wrong. Like wearing white after Labor Day. No, different than that, but still, wrong. Is it wrong? Does iced tea have a season or at least an outside temperature range? It's in the 70s (was in the 80s yesterday). I can drink iced tea, right?

Does anyone add milk to their iced tea? I’ve never seen that. Iced coffee usually has milk, but not iced tea. Wonder why.

This all reminds me of a song by The Cowboy Junkies called “Cold Tea Blues.”

If I pour your cup, that is manners.
If I add your milk, that is friendship.
If I stop there, claiming ignorance of taste, that is tea.
But if I measure the sugar to satisfy your expectant tongue, then that is love.
(Sitting untouched and growing cold.)

And thus the difference between ICED tea and COLD tea.

Survey says...

2007-09-19T21:05:00.000-05:00

Since about 60% of my known readership has responded, I figured I could post a follow-up today.

My estimate was near DB’s. I think only 3% of people in big corporate machines are actually thinking about the customer.

In my experience (four companies in about ten years – two XL, one M, one XS), it was a rare moment when I would be in a room with people excited to work on something – I mean REALLY work – sleeves rolled up, sweat dripping, sleep deprivation, poor nutrition, etc. In that ten years, I think it happened about 3% of the time, with 3% of the people.

I love that Jenn and Jodee believe in people and have experienced something different. Hope lives.

Anonymous Waffle House Person is far too early in his "career" to chime in on this (one summer internship does not a career make).

Regarding DB’s question about what is the “right” answer: My problem is that I am so manic that of course I want 100% of the people to be focused on doing what’s right for the customer 100% of the time. Anything less disappoints. That’s why I am SO well-suited to the independent life. Here in the BDO that’s an easy goal to achieve.

Survey question

2007-09-18T19:06:00.000-05:00

What percentage of people in a company are more focused on their own personal career path than on the ultimate good of the consumer/customer?

I’ve had this discussion twice in the past week. Needless to say, cynic that I am, I think most people in a company are so worried about where they are going next, they forget to do the work at hand. And in many ways, the work at hand is irrelevant to them, because before any project reaches fruition, they’ll be on to the next post. “Impossible,” you say. “They have to have some sort of results to prove they can do the job!” Sadly no, because the people who should be paying attention to these sorts of things are also firmly fixed on their next roles so they will pass along any fool who expresses interest.

This is yet another reason why I’d rather not ever go back. This and the windows thing.

I won’t reveal my guess at the percentage until a few others chime in. I don’t have many readers, so not sure if that will even happen (but if it doesn’t then I don’t need to reveal my estimate). Of the two people I discussed this with, one is in a corporation and one is independent, like me. Actually they both agreed that most are mis-focused, but we disagree on how dire the situation is (based on the percentages we assign to each group).

Buildings with windows that don't open

2007-09-17T16:47:00.000-05:00

If I was forced to go back to a traditional employment situation, the thing I would miss most would be fresh air. I suspect it’s not just me. Today I had to drive a proof over to someone’s office. It was around lunch time and I had to maneuver my vehicle very carefully through the parking lot to avoid mowing down the many small clusters of employees walking outside. They were all decked out in their office-casual best with little ID badges hanging from breast pockets and waistbands.

I know it’s more expensive to make building with windows that open, but I think it’s just depressing to be inside on a glorious weather day without the opportunity to have the outside creep in near you just a bit. Even the noises are probably beneficial on some level. I’ve referenced before in this blog that I am a few blocks from a local elementary school and I can actually hear the kids outside playing during recess. That has to be on a top-ten list of the most inspiring and energizing sounds (teachers may disagree with me there).

It was very chilly this morning. But by mid-day is was mild and lovely and I opened the window and the fresh September air slipped in and said to me quietly, “get to work!” It was great. I remember life without it and it stinks. Stinks of inside air.

That's my hair there

2007-09-13T20:22:00.000-05:00

It looks....unpleasant, doesn't it? Like a severed limb or some creepy worm/snake thing. In another picture, it actually looks like a slug, with a smear of wetness off its tail.

I double checked, because so many people have asked, and I believe it was Fall of 2002 when I last wore my hair "short." I've been growing it out for nearly five years. Figuring that out actually disappoints me a bit, because I would have though five years would yield Rapunzel-like growth, which this hardly is. Barely hit the ten-inch mark.

Samson was wrong I think, for I feel no weaker than usual. But then again, I was no Samson to begin with, so maybe it's proportional.

Word rapture

2007-09-11T20:52:00.000-05:00

This may be an obvious revelation given my profession, but I love words. Especially really well put-together words. Clustered into perfectly formed thoughts, written down as well-structured sentences. It’s nice when I’m the creator (rare), but even when I am not, it’s a joy to witness the phenomenon.

Today’s word rapture is brought to you by this line: “…a swirling sea of big flakes only just darker than the sky and only just lighter than the ground.” A flawless description of snow falling. It’s in chapter 13 of The Golden Compass by Philip Pullman.

We’re a bit away from that snowy time of year still. I get almost as giddy about snow as I do about tomatoes. Something to look forward to, eh?

Beginning the world

2007-09-05T21:12:00.001-05:00

School started in the boro today. Very exciting business! Outside my window I heard the happy sounds of the elementary students eagerly rushing off to their first days of school. The crossing guard on our corner is just the best. I heard her yell at least two dozen times, "Have a great first day!" And she meant it. You could tell.

(Later in the day, out this same window, I heard the familiar, albeit less pleasant, sounds of the older kids walking home from the high school... angry screaming, expletives, general rudeness. Fascinating creatures those teenagers. Nice to know they evolve. Mostly.)

A few lines from the song "Beginning the World" by the Innocence Mission were going through my head all day. They always do this time of year.

"Aren't you bursting with butterflies
on the fourth of September?
Like you'll have to get on the bus
in your tartan dress, with your lunch box.

Though your body is twenty-nine.
Though your mind is an old thing.
I mean, don't you ever ... sigh,

I am always beginning the world, beginning the world."

Yes, Karen Peris, I do get those butterflies, though my body is well past twenty-nine and my mind is a very old thing. (Sigh.)

What’s bugging me

2007-09-04T15:35:00.000-05:00

I get freaked out by bugs landing on me. Near me is not a problem. On me is a problem. A very large moth landed on me while I was peacefully reading in bed Sunday night. It was so large that as it approached I heard its wings flapping and when it hit, I felt a little bump. I shrieked a girly shriek and then insisted that it must die. (I’m not normally violent.) Sadly – or humorously, depending on your distance from the event - the moth escaped the vortex of the flushing toilet and returned for another circle around the bedroom before meeting his final demise.

Yesterday I shrieked a much shorter girly shriek and then laughed when I spotted a praying mantis on the deck. The shriek was because I was reaching for something on the railing of the deck and as my eyes turned to follow where my hand was already going, I saw that I was about to inadvertently grab the mantis. The laugh was at myself for being startled. I took a picture. I think they are so neat looking.

praying mantis (looking at me), September 2007

THEN, as if all these close-encounters of the buggy kind weren’t enough, last night at dinner a friend was telling us about all these ‘cicada-killer wasps’ he has in his yard. As the name implies, they kill cicadas, which are pretty prevalent around here right now. As our friend was describing the wasp, we realized we had seen one in our garage around July 4th. They are HUGE; Wikipedia says they can be up to 2 inches long and the one we saw was most certainly that large. I took a picture back then too. Creepy.

cicada-killer wasp in garage, July 2007

(Note the hyphenation of "cicada-killer wasp" is mine. It's not like that in any references I found, but since the two concepts form one thought, I think it's an important hyphen. It's not a cicada wasp or a killer wasp; It's a wasp that kills cicadas. Without the hyphen one might think it's a "killer wasp" - like a "killer bee" - which it is not. They aren't really dangerous to humans unless you grab, step on, or otherwise man-handle a female. And even then, you wouldn't die. I think I'm channeling Lynne Truss or something.)

I have butter ... and I’m not afraid to use it.

2007-08-30T21:30:00.000-05:00

If I ever write a cookbook, that's what I will title it.

I thought of that line as I slapped a tablespoon of the fine, fatty dairy product in a pan last night. Sometimes a recipe says you must use margarine and I know it has different properties and whatnot, but when given the option, I will always choose butter.

Semi-related thought: My cookbook would probably have a whole chapter – maybe even a section – dedicated to why I think cheese should be its own food group. I’d find a way to include that great quote from Charles de Gaulle, “How can anyone govern a nation that has 246 different kinds of cheese?”

A noticeable panty line

2007-08-29T16:10:00.000-05:00

Quote of the week from the BDO: “Cool. I really liked that panty line.”

There was this ad series. The style was very irreverent and over-stated. One of the concepts for which I was to write copy was the “We’re that good” concept. The visual was a black and white image of young girls, circa 1959/60, overcome by emotion at the sight of some teen pop sensation. The copy I wrote ended with the line, “But please, don’t throw your panties at our reception desk. It gets a little awkward.”

When it seemed as if this particular ad was not going to be part the series, I inquired as to its status. When I was told that, yes, indeed it will be included, but just hasn’t yet, I replied, “Cool. I really liked that panty line.”

(And props please, for refraining from posting about tomatoes again today.)

Tomania

2007-08-28T19:18:00.000-05:00

This has been the lunch special at the BDO cafe for the last two weeks.

Little cheese, little salt and pepper, little olive oil and red wine vinegar, some basil. This particular plate was prepared for the purposes of pre-dinner snacking (for two) while we waited for the rest of dinner to be ready.

Jersey Fresh Freakshow

2007-08-27T11:08:00.000-05:00

We grew a tomato with a NOSE!!

I know I need to stop with all the tomato stuff. But it's sort of my thing. I can't help myself.

Jersey Fresh, Part III

2007-08-23T09:13:00.000-05:00

A-canning we will go. A-canning we will go. Hi-ho the dairy-o a canning we will go.

Why is it called "canning" when you actually put things in jars?

I don't have a real canner, just a big pot with a cookie rack in the bottom. I can only fit four pint jars at a time in it, so I don't do Amish-sized quantities of preserving.

But it's late August and the plants are heavy with delicious ripe fruit. I eat a few each week, give a few away to dear neighbors and friends, and then I still have about 7 lbs of tomatoes left (from only four plants). I canned about 6 lbs last night. The rest are in the fridge (skinned and ready for the jar or some other cooking purpose).

This is what they looked like fresh off the vine. Aren't they SOOOO pretty?!?!

And while we're on the subject, this is my new favorite T-shirt:

Clever Spam Trends

2007-08-22T13:32:00.000-05:00

I feel compelled to give spammers some props. They are so darn clever in their attempts to get us to open their messages and click. Reviewing just a few of them reveals some decent logic.

The Love Note Trend
Perhaps the Queen Mother of all spam trends, this one unleashed the legendary “I love you” virus on the Internet. All predicated on the fact that very few of us could resist someone telling us we are loved - even if we didn’t recognize the name and/or email address. How sad and needy we all are. How smart the spammers are to know this and prey upon it.

The E-greeting Trend
This is a recent trend and much like the Love Note messages, this one also preys upon our needy nature. Who isn’t thrilled to see that someone has sent us an e-postcard or other greeting, especially with tantalizing attribution like, “A worshipper has sent you an e-card” or “A loved one has sent…” The recipient feels special and instant anticipation of a pleasant surprise could lead to a click.

The Important Attachment Trend
Another current spam trend. A particularly smart component of this piece is that there is no body copy to give away its bogus nature. All you have to go on is the subject line, return address and the attached file name. In the past week or so I received one that had either a subject line or file attachment named “check.” Fascinatingly, I was in the midst of trying to track down late payment from a client and for ¾ of a second I actually thought, “Oh look. They emailed me an image of the check to prove that it's on the way!”

The “Thanks for Registering” Trend
This one is new. Just started a few days ago for me. The email appears to be a confirmation that you are now a registered member of some site. Again the psychological ploy is sort of brilliant – who doesn’t want to be included in exclusive membership. You think, “Oh how exciting. I don’t remember registering here, and maybe it’s an accident and now I’m IN!”

Wonder who comes up with these ideas. Probably someone not entirely unlike those in my field – marketing/PR/communications types. Don’t we do the same thing? Figure out how to manipulate readers into a desired response using only words and images? Hmmmm. Wonder how that work pays?

Rounding 39, headin' toward 40.

2007-08-21T19:14:00.001-05:00

Yes. 'Tis the anniversary of dear William's birth.

His notable birthday quote:

"Coldest birthday. Ever."

(High was only 60-something today.)

I have a friend who refers to Will as my "favorite subject." As in, "And How's your favorite subject doing these days?" I used to think it was a polite way around having to remember his name, but this is the same guy who refers to his wife as "Lady Catherine" so probably not. He's, you know, one of those exceptionally smart, literary types (a writer friend of course).

I don't know if Will is my favorite subject. Honestly, I think I am my favorite subject. But Will's a good topic too. Heck, I just devoted an entire Blog entry to him (and yet, not really). Oh whatever!

Happy Birthday to Will. Happy Birthday to Will. Happy Birthday dear William. Happy Birthday to Will.

Grey Days

2007-08-20T20:53:00.000-05:00

100% chance of rain tomorrow. It was 90% today and it rained most of the day. Raining now in fact. But worse than the rain was the cloudy grey sky, which seemed to sink down all around me like a damp, heavy coat, weighing me down, making it impossible to move.

The good news is that after tomorrow the ten-day forecast shows a few "isolated" and "scattered" bits of rain, but not the definitive, un-adorned "rain" that is promised tomorrow. It's just so finite and certain-looking. As if there is no escape.

I hold nothing against the rain or grey skies themselves; the gentle drops can be a comforting sound against my house and cloudy skies have a soft, somber beauty to them. The problem is what it all does to me. My brain feels mired in molasses. I can't get thoughts moving with any sort of momentum. The writing is slow and... frankly... not very good. I labor to push out a few meager words, and then, looking at them on the page, I grimace with disgust. Yuk. My work is yuk when the weather is like this.

With a whole day of it behind me I face another. Maybe I need one of those little fake-sun lamps? More caffeine? More water? Vitamin B? A cleaner desk? A new note pad? Yes. I will try all these things. The grey day will not win!

Aside: Happy Will's Eve!

New Mops (OR what has my life come to?)

2007-08-16T10:35:00.000-05:00

My sister and I were recently talking about this tendency we both have toward excessive and illogical frugality. It’s great to get things on sale or to buy a store brand when it’s just as good as the name brand and costs a few cents less. But sometimes I buy something that’s cheaper, just because it’s cheaper. The example du jour is mops.

My whole adult life I have purchased store-brand sponge mops. And I hate them. The sponge itself crumbles into a useless mat of semi-absorbent goo after just one use and it quickly becomes permanently stained with the dirt and grime recovered on its first glorious trip around a floor. And then, like an idiot, I continue to use it – with miserable results – until I get fed up and stupidly buy another (because it’s cheap).

Thankfully, I’ve had a revelation: I’m a grown up and if I want to buy a better mop, I can. And as if God Himself supported this line of thinking when I was in the grocery store yesterday, the $15 mop was ON SALE for $10!!

So now I’m pretty excited to go on a cleaning rampage in my house this weekend. How sad is that? If I were the teenage me reading this, I’d probably off myself immediately rather than face a future in which new mops got me excited.

Where am I?

2007-08-10T17:45:00.000-05:00

I officially relinquished my chaperon duties a full week ago today. And yet again last night I awoke with a start, sitting bolt-upright muttering in a panicked voice, "Where are the girls?!! Where are the girls?!!"

I know this actually happens, because I wake myself up in the process. My eyes are open, but I can't make out the room around me. In the dark, with the myopia that makes my world at night look like a blue-black impressionist painting, I squint and scan the room looking for the row of bunks that should stretch down the long room to my left. But the room is not long and the bunks are not there.

The street light coming in the windows is not the same as it was in the bunkhouse and I look around struggling to figure out what is going on and where I am. It's happened nearly every night. And it's kind of upsetting.

The really odd thing is that I certainly didn't feel very chaperon-y during the trip. I felt more like a passenger on the ship than anyone involved with steering it. Guess the sense of responsibility somehow crept into my subconscious. Wonder when it will leave.

Tell Everyone

2007-08-07T19:06:00.000-05:00

This was my second trip to the Gulf Coast area in seven months. Very little has changed. In January I was in Slidell, LA just north of NOLA, and this time I was in Bay St. Louis, Mississippi, about an hour east of the city.

I was with four other chaperons and 16 17-year-old girls. We worked with a local Habitat for Humanity chapter. We were outside working all day. I've never sweat so much in my entire life and the current heat/humidity in NJ feels "not too bad" to me now, by comparison. I am thankful I don't work outside in this heat all day and have a new-found appreciation for those who do.

Observation: The gulf coast is being rebuilt on the backs of volunteers - largely students and women from what I have seen.

Observation: The devastation is horrific. TWO YEARS LATER - it is STILL horrific. Imagine your town wiped out. All the strip malls leveled, piles of debris still standing in the parking lots where your favorite stores used to be; streets abandoned except for one or two homeowners who have returned to try and rebuild on their own. Picture beautiful homes, wrecked and skeletal, with FEMA trailers in the front yard, where a family of 4 or 5 live as they try to rebuild. You have to drive miles to find a bank, which has only re-opened in a trailer. Many grocery stores have not returned, so getting food is a real trick in some places. Some roads have still not reopened (there's no urgency for some, since no one lives on those streets any more). Many traffic lights are still missing. It's just unreal. It looks like a movie set - an apocalyptic movie.

Observation: These are not lazy people who are looking for handouts; they are hard-working people who had insurance policies that are not being honored, and people who are loosing their life savings trying to fight for what should be theirs.

Observation: The wealthier people fair better.

MESSAGE: This is what they all asked us - homeowners, shop owners, the Habitat people, the people at the church where we stayed - they all asked us to tell people outside the area that it is not over; Katrina is NOT over. And the need is still great.

The Habitat people told us the volunteers are dropping off. People think everything is fixed. It's not. It's so very far from it.

Another Hiatus

2007-07-26T15:39:00.000-05:00

After completely neglecting this blog for the past week, I am now about to abandon it again.

I'm heading off on another service trip. This time with my dear friend from college, Marie, who is an English teacher and responsible for leading one of her school's service trips. We're heading to Bay St. Louis, Mississippi with 16 students and three other chaperons.

I've set up a blog for the trip: http://misstrip.blogspot.com/

There is wifi at our bunkhouse so hopefully, if we're not too exhausted, we will keep it up-to-date.

See y'all there! (The "y'all" is both in honor of our host state and for DB who is now the official Southern US English Guru for the BDO.)

Shocking Language Discovery

2007-07-25T15:33:00.000-05:00

"Gonna" is in the dictionary! Whoa. I kind of can't believe that. As in, "I'm going to get you, my little pretty!" Only all slurred together and mispronounced as, "I'm gonna get you, my little pretty!" I had no idea that was a legitimate word.

I heard someone on the radio use the word this morning and I started thinking about how difficult it must be for non-native English speakers to figure out that one. But I guess not. They can just look it up.

Language evolves. Yes indeed.

"It's a Major Award!"

2007-07-17T13:28:00.000-05:00

This is the current batch of Mt. Dew caps scattered on Will's desk:

He's been collecting them for months and then going online and logging in "codes" in an effort to win stuff. I actually think he got a check for $5 at one point early on. If I had to guess, I would say there have been well over 100 different caps on his desk during the course of this promotion.

This is a picture of his nephew's stash of caps:

Young nephew has been staying with us for about a month and Will's influence on the 18-year-old is clear in many, many ways. This is just one.

This is a telephone conversation from earlier today between me and Will:

Me: "Hey are you expecting a package?"
Will: "No. Why?"
Me: "Something sort of big came. It's heavy."
Will: "Who's it from?"
Me: "I don't know. (Pause to read.) The return just says Young American Corporation. In Minnesota. Hey wait! Did you win something from those stupid Mt. Dew caps? That 'Young American' - that's where all those promotions and sweepstakes come from!"
Will: "I don't know. They don't tell you if you won. Open it up! Open it up!"

A frenzy of tape ripping ensues, only to reveal once I have opened the box, there is another box, inside the box. I then struggle to get the second box out of the first and rip through another several layers of packing tape. It seems to take an inordinately long time, and I am reminded of the scene from A Christmas Story, when the father's crate arrives and he struggles to get inside, then once inside he has to dig through all that hay-like packing material before unearthing his booty. AND SO... the next line from me, of course, invokes that famous line from the movie:

"It's a Major Award!" (Sadly, I think this is somewhat lost on Will who has more important things to do with his life than memorize movie lines.)

This is what was inside the box the UPS man brought today:

Will's Major Award.

Music to work by: Pachelbel and Peter Gabriel

2007-07-16T21:34:00.000-05:00

Just recently I have re-discovered the local college radio station, WNTI, emanating from the campus of Centenary College in Hackettstown, NJ. (The town which, incidentally, is the birth-place of just about every M&M candy east of Chicago - it's true, check the back of your M&M bag if you don't believe me.)

The station's tag line is "Where great music lives" and you know what? It IS. It truly is. I find it is great music to cook by and now I'm discovering it's great music to work by. The mix is so incredibly eclectic and almost ALWAYS works.

As the title of this post indicates, I just heard Pachelbel's Canon in D, backed with Shock the Monkey by Peter Gabriel. Where else but college radio, right? I'm tellin' ya it worked. Well.

WNTI. Love 'em. Just love 'em.

...later ...
Further Proof of this Station's Greatness

How cool is this station? They are, right now, airing War of the Worlds.

Jersey Fresh, Part II

2007-07-12T22:00:00.000-05:00

When I actually started yesterday's post I hadn't planned to go where I went. I had planned to write about corn. But then I started writing about the tomatoes and just got carried away (produce high I guess).

Yesterday I got some Jersey Fresh corn from my favorite local farm (Donaldson's). It's a little more pricey than the grocery store and most of the other farms around here, but it's so worth it.

I love husking corn. It brings back happy childhood memories. My dad and I always husked the corn together. That was "our" job. We'd be out on the back porch, chatting and husking. There is something very peaceful and satisfying about peeling back the darn green outer husks, revealing the tender light green ones inside. And there is a definite skill to knowing the exact right moment - when you have peeled away just enough - to grab the silk in a fist-full and pull it all off in one big bunch. If you try too soon, the silk breaks off mid-way and you are left with a mess of hairy fibers on your corn. If you wait too long, the silk all separates into its individual strands with a similar result.

In all my years of husking corn I have never seen what I saw last night(although I asked one person so far and she was all like, 'Yeah. I've seen that about a thousand times.'). One ear had a few extra tassels sticking out the sides of the ear. As I peeled closer, I saw little baby ears! Never saw that before and thought it was so neat.

It got me thinking about the first person to figure out that there was something worth eating inside that husk. Wild corn. Can you imagine?Corn must have been wild at some point. Before civilization began cultivating it. I suppose it's not that big a mystery - someone probably saw some animal eating it and figured, "well it didn't kill the beast over there, I suppose it won't hurt me."

Jersey Fresh

2007-07-11T18:16:00.000-05:00

Some have asked, "What's with the tomatoes?"

Right. Well. I am a Jersey Girl. I once had big hair. I once drove a red car. I eat pork roll (but only the Shoprite Tangy variety, sliced very thin and cooked well-done). I GROW TOMATOES. And I believe Jersey tomatoes are the absolute best-tasting tomatoes you can get. I've traveled. I've sampled. Ours are the best.

Mine, in particular, are really yummy. I can't think of many things more delightful than picking a ripe tomato off the vine, holding it gently to your cheek so you can feel the sun's warm lovin', and then slicing it up for a sandwich. The first tomato of the year is reserved for a tomato sandwich. A thin smear of mayo (real mayo, not that miracle whip crap, and no 'lite' or fat-free varieties); a light, light, light sprinkle of salt; and about 3 or 4 slices of the perfect fruit, depending on the size of your bread. I grow my little babies from seed and they should be ripening up in the next few weeks. Ahh, the sweet joy of anticipation.

The photo is of some of my tomato babies from a few years ago. I love tomatoes, food in general and cooking. I also like the color red a lot. I like the earthy, nurturing connotation of the image. And so... it's my profile pic (everywhere online, in fact). Tomatoes Are Me. I am tomatoes. I am... a Jersey Tomato.

When my brain is like Bill Gates

2007-07-03T12:21:00.000-05:00

I've been a bit of blog slacker lately, haven't I? Busy days both inside and out of the BDO.

In addition to work, we have our annual July 4 bash here tomorrow, which takes a little planning and prep; my 20th HS reunion is fast approaching and all those communication-ish-related things I volunteered to do are still not done; and we seem to have a pretty constant parade of house guests lined up throughout the month of July, which means extra cooking, laundry and other little bits of work. A lot of tiny stuff that all adds up.

And speaking of the reunion and communication-ish type stuff... we recently sent out a postcard that included all of 70 words. As is my SOP, I sent the copy to our committee via email for some extra eyes (there are six people on the committee, so in addition to mine that's 10 more eyes!). In the past, I have gotten little response other than, "looks good!," usually followed by another proofing on my part that reveals at least one or two typos or other glitches.

This time, someone came back almost right away pointing out a "hear" that should have been a "heard." Great catch! Love it! I then re-read all 70 words slowly and very carefully to be sure nothing else escaped my professional communicator attention.

Then another email: "Fix the 'We’ve haven’t' and you'll be good to go!"

The old eternal truth rears its ugly head: It's impossible to proof your own work. I know what I meant to write, so my brain fills in missing bits and corrects errors for me.

My brain is sort of like Bill Gates in this way - it thinks it's doing something helpful for me, quietly in the background, but in the end, it just messes things up even more.

New Writing Samples

2007-06-28T20:15:00.000-05:00

The first question is always, “Can you show us some samples of your work?” That one usually even precedes, “What’s your rate?” Which is good and right; It should be more about the quality of the work than the money.

I try to keep my writing samples current, but it’s tough. Some clients don’t want me to share things, some work isn't worth sharing (so boring), and some work gets so gnarled after I turn it over to clients, that it no longer represents “my good work” – it is neither mine nor good. Some work dies in committee - too many reviewers, too little planning, or just dead-end projects.

Just posted two things I’m pretty pleased with.

The first is a case-study-style article about this amazing reading program I’ve had the pleasure to be writing about for nearly a year now. (There have been many, many other case studies during this time. This is the only one that has managed to make it through the maze of editing and approvals.)

The second is an ad series that I did in conjunction with this super cool creative firm I have the pleasure of working with often. They came up with all the concepts, gave me the designs and said, “fill in some copy.” And so I did. That’s my job.

Grind, Crunch, Boom - Part II

2007-06-26T07:33:00.001-05:00

Faithful readers (all two of you) may recall that I wrote about the sidewalks in front of the BDO being ripped up and replaced right before I left for vacation. I wrote that the timing was great since I was leaving and would miss all the noise right outside my window. Came home to lovely, even, un-cracked new sidewalks.

And now... the town is ripping up the ROAD outside my window. INSANE amount of noise. Banging, grinding, pounding. Sometimes the windows of this old house rattle. And then there is that unmistakable high-pitched beep of heavy equipment backing up.

I have to conduct a phone interview this morning. This ought to be a hoot.

Back in business (heavy sigh)

2007-06-25T20:39:00.000-05:00

Well. Here I am again. Working.

Today a client asked me how my trip was and I shared with her these two vignettes that illustrate the quality of my recent vacation.

Quality Vacation Vignette #1
One day, I went into a Yellowstone post office to drop off some postcards and get postage for one of those cute puzzle postcards that require extra (unspecified) postage. A sign on the door read, "Closed for lunch: 12.30 - 1.30)." I consulted my watch, then the clock on the wall. It was 2.30. Where were these postal slackers? I peeked through the mail slots, looked around, blinked a few times, read the sign again, looked at my watch and the clock again, shrugged my shoulders and walked out.

Will was waiting in the car with an inquisitive expression. I explained about the sign and my confusion. And then suddenly, Will's expression changed as it dawned on him and he said, "Carole! It's SUNDAY!"

Quality Vacation Vignette #2
At one point, towards the end of the trip (after the post office incident, but before we were actually heading home), we were stopped at a gas station when I noticed a young woman at a nearby pump get out of her car and begin washing her windshield. She was very careful not to brush up against the car and dirty her pretty work clothes. "WORK CLOTHES! Oh crap. That's right. I forgot people work for a living. I work for a living." I sank more deeply into that seat than I had in 3,000+ miles. Ugh.

Lost track of the days and forgot people actually did anything other than tour around National Parks, camp, picnic, hike, and generally enjoy the world. Yes, it was a very good vacation.

Overheard in the BDO: Grind, crunch, boom!

2007-06-06T13:08:00.000-05:00

The town is replacing the sidewalks in front of our house. It sounds like the dinosaurs have returned and are stomping around raising quite a ruckus.

They’ve been working up and down the street for a few weeks and the fact that they just arrived today at our front door could not have worked out better for the BDO since, as of tomorrow, June 7, “our offices” will be closed for a little over two weeks as I go on vacation. If you want to know more about the trip and follow our little journey, I have set up a travel blog, which I hope to keep up-to-date.

The backs of the leaves are showing

2007-06-05T14:25:00.000-05:00

My mom taught me so many things. Most of it was on purpose, but I bet a lot was not even part of her master plan. She has a lot of little sayings that have stuck with me and echo in my mind so often, I think sometimes I don’t even hear them as they pass through.

She always used to say, “If the backs of the leaves are showing, that means it’s going to rain.” I don’t know that we ever discussed it, but I took this as absolute fact and somehow believed it was because the leaves “drank” rain water through their softer, more porous-looking undersides. I think I was well into my twenties before I realized the backs of the leaves show whenever it’s really, really windy, and yes that sometimes precedes a rain fall, but not always.

The backs of the leaves are showing today. And, in fact, we had a sprinkle of rain earlier, and it looks like we might have another. Maybe my childhood suspicions are true: Moms and Dads do know everything.

Lost my head there for a minute

2007-05-30T15:17:00.000-05:00

I had a brush with traditional employment this week. Interesting choice of phrase – it’s typically “a brush with greatness.” Perhaps a more appropriate phrase might be “dodged a traditional gig this week,” as in, “dodged a bullet.”

After reading a job description forwarded from a friend, I started imagining a utopian world in which the work was rewarding, the people were all brilliant, creative and reasonable, and the compensation was just. I was nearly giddy with excitement and anticipation. And then the HR screener called.

To find out the truth about the work and the people, I’d actually need to experience the job for a while (and thus sacrifice all my fabulous freelance clients). But compensation always comes up early in these conversations. Luckily, it was just low enough to shake me out of my delirious stupor.

Down with buildings that have windows that don’t open! Long live the BDO!

(Nothing But) Flowers

2007-05-28T19:12:00.000-05:00

(I love that Talking Heads song and think of it every time I garden.)

The offices of UtterClarity were closed today for the holiday, and I used the time to do some gardening with Will. A few before and after shots are below.

Still a LOT more work to do, but the beds were really a mess and it feels good to have done a major weeding in two of them and to have mulch down in one with a heavy coat of Weed-n-Feed underneath. ("Yum,"say the flowers. "Gulp, gasp, gurgle," say the germinating weeds.)

Will put some edging in along the front and I'm diggin' it the MOST. The material he used is called "Fiber Edge," which is very amusing to me, because that's the "brand" name of a service I help promote for one of my clients (it's a fiber optic tv, phone and Internet thingy).

I'm already sore and expect to be nearly immobile tomorrow. Good thing all I need to do is sit, think and type.

Mummenschanz 2007!

2007-05-27T15:09:00.001-05:00

The highlight of the 2007 Habitat for Humanity fundraiser yard sale (which is an annual event that takes place on the front lawn of the BDO building [our house]) was when our 4-year-old nephew slid one of the boxes on his head and started walking around the yard. We couldn’t resist adding a face.

His brother was a little creeped-out:

Views from the BDO: Annex #2

2007-05-23T09:51:00.000-05:00

The new cushion’s here! The new cushion’s here!

I special ordered a new cushion for my vintage lounge (and by “vintage” I mean rusty, old and free since I dug it out of someone’s trash heap), in an attempt to match the rest of the crap (and by “crap” I mean fine outdoor living pieces) on my deck. I'm pleased. I think it looks swell. And now I can work in a Pasha-like reclining posture in the BDO Annex #2.

...a few minutes later...

Hazard of working in BDO Annex #2
Nature flotsam in the coffee:

Liar, liar.

2007-05-22T15:46:00.000-05:00

Hypocritical, isn't it? When we accuse someone of telling a lie using this familiar line, we actually tell a lie: “Liar, Liar. Pants on fire.” Are any one's pants really on fire? Someone's nose is growing.

Hey wait! That's a lie too!

Life is just full of inconsistencies that fluster me on a daily basis.

New all-time low?

2007-05-19T16:43:00.000-05:00

An artist friend of mine once told me that there are no new ideas – just new arrangements of old ideas. I find this to be true. Much of the most “clever” writing I have done has been, in part, stolen from someone else. Stolen from or inspired by? Thin line.

Some greats I have ripped-off include: Mark Twain, Aristotle, and most recently God. Yes, God. I actually penned some copy that opens with “In the beginning there was [client name]…” (In my defense this goes REALLY well with the concepts developed by the creative firm, which are all about creation. )

Shall I list the reasons I am most likely to burn in hell? There are plenty already. Now there are plenty + 1.

Overheard in the BDO: "Hey babe..."

2007-05-17T11:04:00.000-05:00

A peek into the demographic of my community.

Scene 1: A father and son walking along the sidewalk just across the street from the BDO annex (front porch). Dad is sporting a baseball cap that barely contains his long, abundant, bushy hair. He is pushing a scooter. It's about noon so they are probably on their way to afternoon kindergarten at the nearby school.

As they pass, dad turns his head, cups his hand to his mouth to focus the forthcoming gruff shout in the direction of someone behind him on the sidewalk:

“HEY BABE! CAN YOU ALSO GET ME A PACK OF CIGARETTES?”

A pause and then, “THANK YOU.”

Scene 2: Dad and Babe walk by again a short time later. He is riding the scooter, and has a cigarette dangling from his lips. Babe is regaling Dad in a rather loud tone with a story about an exchange she must have had with the store clerk. It included a lot of expletives.

Charming.

(But at least they are taking their kid to school. And at least he was polite when asking Babe to get him the cigarettes.)

Bye, Bye Miss American Pie

2007-05-15T19:35:00.000-05:00

I am a self-confessed nostalgia glutton. It is my only vice/addiction outside excessive coffee consumption. At times I have been known to indulge in near toxic doses of nostalgia. I stare at photo albums, read old letters or journal entries and work myself into a frenzy of emotion, longing for a person or time that is no more.

When I walk the halls or stroll the campus of a school I attended, and things aren’t where I left them, I feel robbed of my memories. I currently live very near where I grew up and as streets are rerouted, buildings torn down and new ones built I have the same reaction.

Yet when I reconnect with old friends I actually despise reminiscing and try to keep the conversation focused on the here and now - who we are today. If all we have to talk about is the past, then we’ve grown into pretty boring adults, haven’t we?

I’m probably thinking about all this for two reasons:

1) In addition to my duties as chief wordsmith and idea hatcher here at UtterClarity, I am also currently a member of the planning committee for my 20th HS reunion (this is SOO out of character it’s not funny ... it would be difficult to find someone who hated high school more than I did).

2) A friend recently posted a blog entry titled, “You Haven't Changed A Bit.”